Guava Seed Rating
Miss Kate's strolling along the beach with a bundle of bananas in a cute green shirt and khaki pant ensemble. She happens upon Sawyer's stuff and sees that he's STILL reading Watership Down. (Honestly, Sawyer, I know you didn't make it past ninth grade but you've got nothing but time on your hands. WHAT is taking you so long?!) He walks out of the water naked, because there's just not enough gratuitous shots of Josh Holloway without his shirt off on this show. Kate makes a funny about the water being cold (always figured Sawyer had a small frank and beans situation) and he makes a nauseating comment about her coming closer to warm him up. I throw up in my mouth a little. Ok, a lot. Kate walks off mid eye-roll and Sawyer leers after her. UGH. There's more coming, I can just feel it.
FB to Sawyer screwing some girl named Jessica, and apparently she's satisfied by his kibbles and bit (*Editor's Note* - No self-respecting Jessica would ever screw a guy like Sawyer. Well, this Jessica wouldn't, anyway.) Sawyer has to go to a meeting and as he grabs a briefcase, a ton of money falls out and the gold-digger in her leaps for joy. "You weren't supposed to see that," he mutters. Yeah. Sure, Sawyer.
Back in the jungle, Sawyer's moseying about when he hears a noise. He starts running and catches Boone rifling through his stuff. We're supposed to feel scared for God's Friggin Gift to Humanity but he looks like such a scared little girl I can't help but laugh.
Jack! Finally! Doing doctor things! He's dabbing a cloth on Sayid's head because some asshat knocked our favofite Iraqi unconscious. I can't concentrate on the conversation because of Jack's glorious hands but it's basically Sayid retelling his plan from the previous episode. Boone comes in all bloody and Shannon's freaking out (Mm... Shoone. But more on that later.) When Jack asks what happened Boone mutters one word: Sawyer. And Jack looks at Sayid and the ominous Giacchino horns blare in and we know shit's about to go DOWN and I'm excited because hopefully it'll end with Sawyer in a body bag.
Back at the beach, Charlie's trying to mack it to Claire by bringing her water. Let's just laugh for a minute at the absolute dichotomy of Charlie/Claire to Sawyer/Kate. Sawyer makes suggestive remarks (while naked, mind you) and Charlie brings water. It's ridiculously comical if you ask me. Charlie's all worried because it's sunny and there are sand fleas but Claire wants to hang out for when they get rescued.
In the caves, Jack's working his doctor magic (GUH. THOSE HANDS!!!) on Boone when Boone tells him about Shannon having asthma. Jack tries to act like he gives a shit about Shannon not being able to breathe as Boone says that she's missing inhalers. Boone was actually the one reading Watership Down (I wonder if it took him eight days to read it?) and that the book was in his checked luggage along with Shannon's inhalers, since she always forgets them (altogether now: Awwww). The boy wonder says that her breathing got really rough and I laugh because THIS was the stuff we worried about in Season 1. Ah, the good old days.
On the beach, Sawyer is reading his letter and smoking when Jack walks up and starts going through Sawyer's stash (Sawyer should just keep an inventory page to avoid all of this rummaging). Jack asks where the inhalers are and Sawyer plays stupid, saying that he whooped Boone because he was merely protecting his property. Jack gets righteous and asks Sawyer why any of that stuff would be "his" and I get all excited because Jack's hot when he's being morally superior. He tells Sawyer to get up and Sawyer says, "Why, you wanna see who's taller?" Then Jack yells at him to get up and Sawyer takes the challenge, rising to stand. Well lookee here!! In walks KATE, and we're offically introduced to the triangle of doom. No seriously. Look at the way they're standing. In an effing triangle with Kate at the pinnacle. UGH. Kate sounds like the school teacher who just caught two boys fighting on the playground and asks what's going on. Jack walks away and Kate walks after him, staring down Sawyer because she knows he's the one who's being the douchebag.
In the FB, Jessica's hanging out in her underwear and talking to Sawyer about this oil thing Sawyer's trying to get in on. He tells her something about meeting an investor to get the rest of his money and how it'll triple in two weeks. The dollar signs show up in her greedy little eyes and she suggests that her husband will put up the other half of the money. I laugh because this dumb, cheating bitch is actually falling for Sawyer's lies. It's the oldest trick in the book, Jess! Come on! Use your head!
Back at the beach, Jack's trudging off with Kate following him. He says he's going to kill Sawyer (yay!) and she says it's not going to help get the medicine (ugh, maybe true?) but Jack says, "No, but it'll feel good!" (yay!) and she asks what's stopping him? (yeah, Jack, what?) "We're not savages, Kate," he responds. (Right. Dammit. That whole "let's try and be civilized thing.) She offers to talk to him, and when Jack asks her why that'll work she says, "He says we have a connection." Can we all just hug Jack at his reaction to that? " (chuckles)..... do you?" (pwa ha ha ha ha. I'm right there with you, buddy!) And Kate scoffs at him because Sawyer's semi-right. Ew.